He looked exactly like Pete Doherty, which drove my initial attraction. I love Pete Doherty. I'd probably let Pete Doherty burn me with a crack pipe. Kinda like Rick James and Tina Marie. Anyway, he was big and tall and stupid as hell with lots of bad tattoos (it's always interesting to get a heavily tattooed guy naked to find in the mess of everything he's got a flaming "Taz" tattoo or something like that). Our actual date was pretty substandard. Because he was such a fucking idiot (something I realized within the first 20 minutes) I decided to get really drunk so at least I could make fun of him to his face and he'd just think it was cute and blame the booze. The highlight of the actual date was making out in one of the booths at my local neighborhood peep show with the dancers cheering us on...one of my earrings fell out and since I was standing in what essentially was a jack shack, I decided to leave it.
We went back to my place and I think I ended up putting on a Pete Doherty record, which he didn't recognize so it ruined it for me a bit. We fucked on my couch and he was the only guy in my life who ever dined and dashed on me because I woke up in the morning alone. As I was trying to pull myself together I realized very quickly that he had stolen the pair of underwear I had been wearing. They were nothing special, just an ugly pair of purple cotton boy shorts with the Eiffel Tower in rhinestones on the ass that said "Paris". I didn't get them in Paris nor have I ever been to Paris, so really, no loss. It was the fact that he took them that was really ridiculous. I imagine him having a pair of undies from every girl he's banged nailed to the wall of his closet, kinda like the stuffed heads of moose and deer in a game room. He shows his buddies when they come over. "These are my kills"
It's also funny to note that about two weeks later I was vacuuming and I found his fucking underwear wedged in my couch. So wait, did he take mine and wear them home on accident? I mean, we were pretty drunk. And he was a total moron. I displayed them on the living room floor for my roommate to see when she came home. I also believe that I kept them in my underwear drawer for a while. "My kill".
Also funny to note I've seen him on the street riding his bike twice since this happened. Each time I've yelled at him from my car "I want my underwear back".
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